A Firecracker Birthday
by Author-chama
Summary: "Let's play a game Izaya " Kanra said, fire sparking in her eyes as she leaned over the board. "This time we'll see what happens when the King pieces fight each other" M:Violence/Cussing Bad Sum Izaya,Kanra,Shizuo,Kasuka,Namie,Simon,Kida,Saki,Mi kado,Anri,VanGang, THE FOUL DEMON IN FIRE OF A SOUL,cranky/old lady w/bricks in bag,Fat cat tht lands on Shizuo's face more pls read thx


Okay, I published this just for Izaya's birthday. at the moment it is really terrible, because none of the jokes make sense. there is a lot of jokes in here that come from the fanfictions im working on and just haven't published yet. Lol, sorry about that.

And yes,

IF YOU HAVE READ FIRE OF A SOUL, YOU IZ PART OF TEH GROUP THAT WILL READ THIS AND BE ALL LIKE, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE. (the foul demon)

XD I thought I'd put in a couple of jokes from Fire of A Soul just for the hell of it, so if it doesn't make sense and you haven't read it than that's why. For the people that HAVE read Fire of A Soul, I updated chapter 2 recently and changed one part to the whole secretary from hell thing.

Lemme know if you laughed~ lol, I probably just sound like an idiot with brain damage though, fail attempt at humor Is (most likely) fail. Thanks to you all~ It cheers me up that people are still reading this even though I still didn't get it out in time.

* * *

Heat. Smoke. Alarms.

**_"SHIT!IZAYAWAKETHEHELLUPNOWILITTHEPLACEONFIRE!"_**

_SHIT! DAMMIT KANRA WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT THE HELL HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT NOT SETTING THINGS ON FIRE!_

Izaya Orihara sat bolt upright in a heartbeat, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he started to scramble to the other end of the bed, jacket and keys already in hand from where they were on the nightstand, with his switchblade and phone in his jacket pocket.

Of course if this were any other fire alarm the great Izaya Orihara would take his sweet time getting up, and would've checked the security cameras of the building to verify the legitimacy of the situation before being bothered to join his lovely humans in the chaos instead of watching from above. He only bothered to exit the building in a fire drill when he wanted to enjoy himself by experiencing the reactions of his humans firsthand. He is the kind of person you see grinning in the stairwell when everyone else is anywhere from tired to scared, to pissed.

However.

This was Kanra we were talking about.

Izaya had learned long ago when she says there is a fire in the building _AND SAYS SHE LIT THE PLACE ON FIRE_, you do not think. You do not pause. You do not question.

_YOU._

_RUN._

_LIKE._

_**HELL.**_

As he was just about to reach the end of the bed, his vision went completely white. Something caught the back of his shirt and he fell forward, trying to catch himself from kissing the floor in a face plant, but his arms were swept from under him before everything went dark.

* * *

Kanra kicked Izaya's bedroom door open, grinning as she held a smoking coffee can, a fire extinguisher, and a can of axe in her arms. She had Shinra help her slip Izaya a sleeping drug so they could get things arranged and people could arrive without the informant interfering. It was a lot more difficult than you can imagine, but somehow they had managed to succeed.

The smoke detectors in Izaya's apartment were turned off and Celty was waiting for Kanra's text to set off the fire alarm. About an hour earlier Kanra had set up a fog machine with dark gray smoke; so with the coffee can, which was filled with coals and a bit of wood from the fireplace, it would make it look and smell like an actual fire.

Kanra paid attention to details, especially when it came to fire.

However that was a good thing because Izaya was an informant after all, and being Izaya he would notice things that normal humans would not take the time to think about.

She stood at the end of the bed and set the fire extinguisher down at her feet, tossing the can of axe up and catching in the palm of her hand.

Kanra smirked and took a step back, careful to not step in the cake she had put there an hour earlier. She made Namie bake the cake, and the secretary from hell finally obliged, but not without a great deal of mumbling. It was something about being %115 done with some "overly reckless psychotic freak." Strange woman apparently felt that she needed to be paid more if she was going to "babysit this psycho, pyro of a female" and have to do "stupid thing such as get coals and bits of wood and put them in a coffee can for her."

Celty made Namie get it after Kanra had tried to do it herself and ended up freaking Celty out by shrieking and jumping over a couch before firing a handgun she pulled out several times at the fire pit.

Damn spider. It came back to haunt her the little shit.

This time she made sure to 'stab it with a pin and wipe its guts over the entire freaking apartment as a warning to all its kin.'

Everything was timed perfectly, Izaya hadn't woken up from the smoke, or the noises of them getting ready in the apartment. If she was correct, the heat from the flames should be enough to pull him out of the drug induced sleep of the dead he was in, and the smoke and fire alarms would finish the rest. Just as he would be about to wake up Kanra would tell him she let the building on fire, and given her past pyro incidents, he would be up as fast as he could.

Kanra pulled out her phone and sent Celty the text.

_Ten._

Kanra put the phone back in her jacket pocket.

_Nine._

She jumped up on the foot of the large bed.

_Eight._

"Izaya~ time to wake up~" Kanra purred quietly as she started jumping up and down on the bed.

_Seven._

_Six._

"Last warning~" Kanra grinned. She pulled out a black and silver lighter that she stole from Shizu-chan and flicked the spark wheel. Of course she had her own lighter, but she planned on sabotaging the lighter later so Shizu-chan would get a... _fiery_ surprise the next time he used it after Kanra secretly returned it to him.

_Five._

She held the axe can up.

This was exactly why they didn't allow Kanra on their property since they offered her a job on a commercial.

_Four._

"Don't say I didn't warn you~"

_"Three."_

_"Two."_

_"One."_

A split second before Celty set off the fire alarms, Kanra sprayed the axe onto the little flame from the lighter, sending flames shooting across Izaya for an instant.

She kept it going for as long as she could without actually burning the sleeping informant or the bed, and hopped back, looking around at the smoke curling in the air as the fire alarm shrieked.

Her right lip curled upward into a sharp grin, imagining all the people below who were about to be getting out of their beds at around 4:45 on a Saturday morning. She had made it so the fire department would take a while to get there, so Kanra could have some fun.

Kanra jumped back, landing lithely at the floor by the bottom corner of Izaya's bed, picking up the fire extinguisher.

_**"SHIT!IZAYAWAKETHEHELLUPNOWILITTHEPLACEONFIRE!" **_Kanra yelled, and she had to keep herself from ruining it by laughing as Izaya shot up, hands flying to grab his keys and jacket.

She sprayed white foam at Izaya's face, quickly tossing the fire extinguisher on the bed and snatching the back of his shirt. She swung her leg around and swept Izaya's arms out from under him, and laughed as the great Izaya Orihara went face first into a birthday cake.

_"HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY IZAYA~!"_ Kanra cheered in a silvery sing song voice.

* * *

A couple moments went by in silence before he instantly relaxed, realizing what had just happened. He heard Kanra laugh as she saw this, releasing her hold on his shirt.

_"HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY IZAYA~!"_

Dammit. Why me? What have I done to deserve this?

He pulled out his cell phone and slid it up before he lifted his face enough to peer at the screen.

**4:30 AM**

**2013/5/4**

His head flopped back down and he pushed himself up, eyes heavy and half lidded in exhaustion and annoyance from having to deal with a Kanra this early in the morning on his birthday. He usually got up a half hour later, but he had been busy the past week and now felt as if 100 tons of bricks were on his shoulders.

**_FWHAP!_**

A wet towel smacked into his face, the impact making it wrap around his head for a moment. Kanra dragged Izaya out the bedroom door, Izaya sleepily stumbling after the female who had a death grip on his elbow.

"C'mon hurry up I gotta go I'm gonna be late!" Kanra whined, and Izaya sped up, the ice cold water that the towel was dunked in waking him up completely. He wiped the cake and fire extinguisher foam off his face and hair, and caught the dry towel that sailed towards him before it hit his face.

Kanra had let go and was tearing across the room towards the banister. Without hesitation, she dove over the top and into the air above the first floor. If you were to stand at Izaya's desk and face the opposite wall, the second floor would only come halfway, leaving the rest of space between the second floor the the large glass windows open, so there was pleasantly of room to do so.

Izaya sighed. He heard sounds of people moving about, Shinra's loud voice the most prominent as he shouted endearments at Celty before being cut off by a punch to the stomach.

* * *

Kanra took the wet towel from Izaya, tossing it into the open washroom door before handing him a dry one. She let go, and sprinted as fast as she could towards the railing of the banister. She had less than a minute left before the delay in the fire alarm system Kanra had put was up and the fire alarms for the rest of the building went off.

She didn't even bother to question if her target was standing in the room or not, and abandoned all reason by recklessly diving over the railing, soaring through the air at top speed straight towards the blonde target, who (luckily) was in fact there.

**_"SSSSHHHHIIIIIIZZZZZUUUU-CCHAAAAANNNNN~!" _**Kanra cried out, looking much like a flying squirrel with her open jacket.

Said blonde target turned and looked up, a confused questioning look on his face as the identity of the black thing streaking towards the air toward him had yet to register in his mind.

_"CATCH ME~!" _Kanra exclaimed in a bubbly voice.

Before anyone could do anything Kanra tackled Shizuo, effectifly succeeding in her mission to dive glomp the x-bartender as he exhaled a hair muffled _oof._ Shinra let out a squeak of surprise as he peeked over Celty's shoulder.

They hit the ground and skidded back a couple of feet, coming to a stop with a giggling Kanra hugging Shizuo around the neck. She let go and looked down at the bewildered blonde, who blinked twice at her. He looked so absolutely hilarious that Kanra found herself erupting into more giggles.

The room went dead silent. Izaya was at the top of the staircase, lips twitching as they tried to decide between jaw dropping and grinning. Namie stared with her eyes as wide as they have ever been, and Kasuka stared with a blank emotionless face, curious as to see if his brother was okay, while Simon poked his head out from the kitchen, pleased to find that there was no violence as he initially thought. Well... Sorta. It was more like a violent hug.

Kanra laughed as recognition dawned on him and he tensed, balling his fists and growling.

_**"KANNNNRRRRRRRAAAAAAAA!"**_

"I feel not safe." Kanra peeped, and Celty face palmed so hard it sent her helmet flying back and hit Shinra in the face, who stumbled back into the table and ended up sitting on the cake, which just pissed Shizuo off even more because he had just spent the past hour "wasting sixty minutes of his life baking a cake for a damn flea" because Kanra had gotten Kasuka to ask Shizuo to help out with Izaya's birthday.

Just then the fire alarms in the floor below them went off and Kanra jumped up off of Shizuo, stepping on his chest in the process just to piss him off even more, and sprinted for the door, shouting.

_"OH CRAP I GOTTA GO! THANKS FOR CATCHING ME SHIZU-CHAN~! IM GONNA GO HAVE FUN BECAUSE SHIZU-CHAN MAKES THE KITCHEN STINK WHEN HE TRYS TO COOK CAKE AND SCREWS UP. LATOR GATORS~! I'll be bac-"_

Kanra was cut off by the door slamming shut behind her.

"GET BACK HERE YOU PARASITE!" Shizuo yelled after her, and Celty got up from where she was trying to help Shinra, abandoning him to go and try to stop Shizuo from tearing the very building apart, as Izaya laughed his ass off from the stairs, tears in his eyes from the ridiculous hilarity of the scene before him.

Simon turned away, giving up. Sushi was more important now, he would go make delicious Russia Sushi. Maybe that make Shizuo calm down. He might not be so cranky like he in puberty if he not be hungry.

* * *

Kanra jumped down the last ten steps and kicked open the doors to the fire exit of the floor beneath Izaya's. This was the second time the fire alarm rang out, and Kanra grinned before sprinting to the nearest door and pummeling it with her fists.

**"FIRE! FIIIIRRE!" **She screamed as she went from door to door, beating and kicking and yelling.

Kanra stepped into a custodians closet, and grabbed the tank of helium she put there earlier.

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed down to her contact in the office.

"Hey Summer-chan~!" She said, as people started moving about inside their apartments, and she heard muffled screams of fear.

_"Hey Kanra. Got the system all hooked up. I'm transferring you now."_ A voice came through the phone. It was a friend of hers, who was grest with computers. She was Kanra's partner in mayhem.

"Thanks~" Kanra said, in a high pitched voice having just inhaled some helium.

_"Kanra you sound like a squirrel."_ Summer said, in a exasperated tone, yet Kanra could hear the smile in her voice. Kanra took a deep, long breath of helium, and finally she heard a click as the speaker system for the hotel turned on.

**_"EVERYBODY GET THE HELL UP NOW! THIS AINT NO TIME TO BE SLEEPING! EVEN IF 'BEAUTY SLEEP' WORKED YOU'D ALL NEED TO HIBERNATE SO QUIT KIDDING YO'SELVES AND ESCAPE WHILE YOU STILL CAN! THERE IS A HUGE FIRE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES THERE IS NO TIME! GET OUT NOW OR WE ARE ALL GOING TO BURN! LEAVE YOUR PETS! THROW THEM OUT THE WINDOW AND IF ITS A CAT IT'LL LAND ON ITS FEET! DON'T GO TO THE FIRE ESCAPE ITS ON FIRE TOO! EVERY MAN FOR THEMSELVES PEOPLE ITS CALLED SURVIVAL NOT LET'S STOP AND HELP THE OLD LADY WITH BAD GAS THAT YELLS HOW SHE'LL BURY US ALL AND DANCE ON OUR GRAVES! SHE CAN'T OUTLIVE US NOW BECAUSE WHEN THE BUILDING BURNS, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW CRANKY AND SOUR YOU ARE LIFE JUST DON'T LOVE YOU NO MORE FOOLS! NOW RUN LIKE HELL! DO WHATEVER YOU MUST TO LIVE! FAT PEOPLE IN YOU WAY MAKE GRAT PADDING IF YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS!"_**

Kanra slid her phone shut and the hotel intercom went out. She laughed as she watched people stumbling down the hallways. We followed the last person through the door and let it swing shut as she yelled on the top of her voice.

**"OH MY GOD THE FLAMES ARE BURNING RIGHT DOWN THE HALL! GET OUT NOW!"**

She slipped in and out among the crowded stairwell as a few people screamed, hopping onto the hand rail and sliding down it laughing.

* * *

Celty had managed to subdue Shizuo who was now sitting on the couch as Shinra went to wash his lab coat and Kasuka cleaned up the mess with Namie.

"So this must be why you all went to bed so early, huh?" Izaya asked Shinra, who was having difficulty with the washing machine.

"Yea, although I don't know if or when Kanra got to bed. It's like she doesn't sleep at all really, she is a night owl yet a morning person at the same time. And yet she doesn't appear to have any fatigue, its really quite interesting-" Shinra started ranting before Izaya cut him off.

"By all means if you're planning on running one of your medical experiments go right on ahead. I just don't want you to come crawling to me when it goes bad. Knowing Kanra, she is almost as unpredictable as Shizu-chan, but I'm willing to bet consequences will involve fire."

"Hahahaha, you don't say?" Shinra laughed as they walked down the stairs.

Just then the speaker system went on and Celty opened the door so they could hear it better.

_**"EVERYBODY GET THE HELL UP NOW! THIS AINT NO TIME TO BE SLEEPING! EVEN IF 'BEAUTY SLEEP' WORKED YOU'D ALL NEED TO HIBERNATE SO QUIT KIDDING YO'SELVES AND ESCAPE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!"**_

Just then everyone in the room face palmed in unison. "Oh dear lord help us all." Muttered Izaya.

"Who in the hell gave Kanra helium?!" Namie yelled, completely pissed with the informants antics. She felt like a damned baby sitter, and she was dear too underpaid to take on a job like that.

**_"THERE IS A HUGE FIRE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES THERE IS NO TIME! GET OUT NOW OR WE ARE ALL GOING TO BURN! LEAVE YOUR PETS! THROW THEM OUT THE WINDOW AND IF ITS A CAT IT'LL LAND ON ITS FEET! DON'T GO TO THE FIRE ESCAPE ITS ON FIRE TOO!"_**

"Holy shit the chick isn't kidding." A voice came from the hall. Masaomi walked in, followed by Saki, Mikado and Anri, who pointedly had not come.

Masaomi jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "We just passed by the window next to the stairway on the way up here. We could see fire escape in flames through the window."

"Should we call someone?" Masaomi asked hesitantly, nervously gripping the strap of his bag that he always had on his person.

"Nah, its cool bro. Who would you call anyways?" Masaomi asked, before flopping down on the couch across from Shizuo.

"Heyyy!" Shinra said, drawing out the word as he realized something. "I know that cranky lady! She threw stuff at me!"

"Dammit! Forget this I'm going to kick Kanra's ass!" Shizuo said, slamming his fist down on the couch and startling half the people there.

Celty sighed and her shoulders slumped, waving off Shinra who was fussing about.

"Who want sushi?" Simon asked, arms full of Russia Sushi. He placed them on the table and Izaya walked in from the kitchen holding two large bowls of popcorn while Namie popped some more in the microwave.

"Not much we can do but watch, huh?" Saki asked, hugging Masaomi, who laughed. Izaya pulled up the security feed from the cameras of the building and they all sat down to watch the show until Kanra and Shizuo returned.

* * *

Kanra had reached the ground floor, doing a hand spring off the stair railing and landing in the flow of people pushing their way out of the building, filling up the street. Kanra sat in a tree, happilly kicking her feet as she looked down at her lovely humans, who were still exiting the building.

As she watched the doors she leaned forward with interest as the flow died down far to soon. Her question was answered when a blonde bartender walked out the doors and started scanning the crowd.

_Shit._ Kanra thought with a smirk.

She dropped from the tree branch and was putting her hands in her jacket pockets when something hit the back of her head.

_Ow!_

"What the hell?" Kanra said, spinning around with a snarl on her lips, eyes so sharp the expression on her face would make anyone without a death wish shit themselves.

But the completely unfazed fossil in front of her just gave Kanra another bat on the head with her cane as the ungodly stench that met Kanra's nose made her eyes water. She stumbled back a few steps, nearly knocked to her feet.

"You were the voice in my head that told people to leave me to die you sassy witch! Straighten up that posture of yours! Put some lady clothes on you cross dresser! In my day we wore dresses and only wore black when somebody was dead! And quick talking to that little black box, you look like a howler monkey out on a day pass from the zoo!"

Kanra took a step back from the woman. "Easy, easy~ Wouldn't want you to get to worked up there, you might hurt your back waving that stick around." Kanra sneered. She had to deal with lady many times before.

"What? Speak up and quit mumbling!" The fossil shrieked, and Kanra looked around for an escape. It was then she noticed that the crowd of people had given them a huge amount of space.

Kanra paled, and tensed up. Damn. She was stuck between the gassy hack and the protozoan.

Luckily just as she was turning around to face Shizuo, an inhuman shriek peirced the air.

They all looked up, and just like that a huge fat cat howled as it was tossed out the window, falling perfectly on Shizuo's face.

Kanra laughed so hard she fell back on the pavement, holding her stomach as tears streamed from her eyes in laughter as Shizuo tried to grab the cat who was like a fat tornado with claws. The cat finally ran off and Kanra stood turning away to escape while Shizuo ripped out the street barrier that was just replaced, but was blocked by the fossil again. Kanra's eyes widened as the woman swung a bag around, and she dropped to the ground just in time as Shizuo bent forward to swing the barrier, evidently not knowing the woman was there. Kanra rolled from her place on the ground and kicked just as the woman hit Shizuo in the face, the force of it causing him to trip over Kanra's leg and fall on his face.

That was all it took for Kanra to run like hell, flying up the fire escape, thanking her lucky stars that she didn't pour the liquid she used to set it on fire on the railings.

In record time Kanra reached to top floor, diving through the now broken window and rolling as she hit the ground. The doors inches behind her burst open as Shizuo, who's face was now cut up and a tiny bit bruised from the bricks that the woman legitimately carried in her purse, reached the top floor a moment after Kanra.

"Dammit no fair!" She said as she was on her feet in an instant, in a dead sprint to the door. She swung it open so it smacked Shizuo in the face, before she flew in at top speed, diving over the couch full of people who shouted and scrambled, popcorn and sushi flying everywhere. She rolled on her side as she hit the floor, then somehow managed to squeeze under the couch.

* * *

Everyone was in tears, too breathless to speak as the rewound the clip of the scene below over and over.

_[Ahahaha! Oh my god! The fat cat!]_ Celty typed with shaky fingers.

Even Kasuka and Namie were laughing, but they weren't to the point of tears.

They all froze as they heard the sound of glass shattering,

"Kanra,"

Followed by another loud crash.

"Shizuo." Izaya said, and smirked. He laid flat across the couch, grinning at everyone's confused expressions.

Then everyone paled as the door opened with a loud SMACK as it hit Shizuo, and half a moment later Kanra was vaulting over the group as they dove for cover.

"KANRA YOU LOUSY PARASITE!" Shizuo shouted, lifting up the couch with Izaya laying across it, smirking happily.

Note: Shizu-chan is incredibly stupid and oblivious to other enemies when attempting to crush his current target.

Kanra, on the other hand, waved a hand up to Shizuo. "Good job Shizu-chan~! Now its your turn to go hide~!"

**_"YOURE DEAD YOURE DEAD YOURE DEAD YOURE DEAD! YOU ARE SO FREAKING DEAD!" _**Shizuo roared, and Izaya took the liberty to choose this moment to speak up.

"Hey! Shizu-chan that's what you are supposed to tell me!" Izaya pouted, but his eyes still gleamed with mischief.

"Hey at least its not Shinra's door this time right?" Kanra said and Shinra sweat dropped, not wanting to be dragged into this. "You should really get a Shizu-chan proof door. By the way Shizuo, your nose is a little bloody~!"

"SHUT UP!" Shizuo yelled, about to beat Kanra with the couch.

"Whoa!" Simon exclaimed, and the next moment Shizuo and Kanra were held by the back of their shits by the large Russian.

Kanra pouted, crossing her arms and disappointed that the fun was done. Just then the sound of sirens went off and through the night sky and reflection of the windows of the buildings, they saw flashing lights.

Kanra's head snapped up and she frantically kicked, somehow managing to slip out of her coat and running to the window before anyone could do anything.

"YESS!" She yelled, throwing up her arms. She sprinted past Simon, snatching up her jacket and was out the door in the next second.

Namie sighed. "If anyone thinks they can go get her, ill slap you in the face and maybe it'll knock the stupid out of you."

* * *

The firefighters came marching up the stairway, until they were blocked by a figure leaning against the wall, grinning.

"Please, you must get out you could be in danger." One of the people said, and Kanra stepped forward, the grin on her face widening.

"Oh I think I'm quite safe~" she purred.

"Kanra?!" One of the men exclaimed, earning them a vicious smirk.

"...wait, YOU!" The first guy cried out, jaw dropping.

"Me~?" She replied, holding out her hands with the palms facing towards them as she stared down at them, one eyebrow quirked in question.

"Y-you're the girl that replaced our fire extinguishers with flamethrowers that looked like the fire extinguishers!" The guy stammered stupidly, and Kanra laughed in amusement.

"Yeah~" I just wanted to let you lovely people know that if anything were to happen today, you should ignore it, alright~? Bye bye now~!" Kanra turned, and left them speechless.

* * *

An hour later they were all busy. Masaomi, Saki, Anri, and Mikado were all setting up decorations while Celty and Shinra worked with setting up the buffet table. Namie had been sent out to go get more firewood because everyone agreed that Kanra had more than enough fire for a long time, and they tried to avoid having her around anything that had to do with fire at all. So while Izaya played around on the Internet, Kasuka, Kanra, and Shizuo were on kitchen duty.

"Piiiink~" Kanra sang, smirking at the enraged bartender.

"Shut Up!" He growled through gritted teeth. He felt terrible about loosing control around his little brother. He rarely saw him and if it weren't for Kasuka and Celty, Shizuo wouldn't be subjecting himself to this hell.

So when his baby brother asked him to bake a cake with him and held up a pink apron, he had no choice but to oblige.

"So Kasuka~, do you bake often?" Kanra asked, curious.

"Sure, I guess I do." Kasuka said, shrugging. He looked up and flipped his head back, blowing his bangs from his eyes. Kanra, who's sleeves weren't pulled up past the elbow and didn't have arms covered in flower, reached across the table and brushed away the hair for Kasuka.

"Thanks." He said smiling a little.

Shizuo Hewajima was so pissed he looked constipated.

"Awwww~! Is Shizu-chan jealous~? Here, I'll help you with your hair too~" Kanra said, setting down the sticky dough she had just picked up and rubbing the gooey substance on her hands through his once soft hair as she ruffled it.

Kasuka stifled a tiny smirk, as Shizuo froze with his mouth hanging open.

"There~!" Kanra sung, returning to the lump of dough. Grinning like a maniac, Shizuo's eyebrow twitched as he forced the failed smile, setting down dough he had and walked stiffly to the bathroom.

Kanra cracked up at the poker faces everyone had, afraid to show any emotion that could possibly light the tiny fuse to a huge bomb.

Fifteen minutes later Kanra kept her back to the kitchen door, as she heard Shizuo's footsteps on the stairs.

Shinra, who had been drinking, choked and sprayed pop everywhere as Celty dropped her helmet. For a moment everyone's heart skipped a beat in suppressed shock, laughter, and a slight bit of fear as they saw the bartender, who was stepping down the stairs with a damp hand towel pressed to his face having just washed his hair.

When he removed the towel no one looked, and the four kids were shaking with their backs to him, as they fought laughter.

Being used to getting weird looks and reactions from people, Shizuo brushed it off, completely unfazed as he walked into the kitchen. He replaced the hand towel on the bar and peered at Kanra, who had not moved from where she was focused intently on something with her back to him, being uncharacteristically quiet.

Silence is golden.

Unless its Kanra. In that case silence means shit has or is going down.

"Hello nii-san." Kasuka said, with a wide genuine smile. Shizuo stood dumbfounded for a moment, then smiled back softly. "Hey Kasuka."

Shizuo glanced over at Kanra and saw she was trembling, bent over, gripping the sides of the counter tightly. Through the tight fitting fabric of her black shirt, Shizuo saw the defined muscles in her back were tensed.

"Kanra...?" Shizuo asked hesitantly, not sure what was happening.

A small indisguinshable sound escaped from the informants lips, and Shizuo stepped forward hand held out and hovering a foot from her back awkwardly.

"...are you...crying?" He asked, standing next to Kanra, turning her around and gripping her shoulder in frustration. Her long silky black hair hung down in gentle waves, veiling her face in shadow.

Just as Shizuo was about to snap from the tense atmosphere, Kanra's head snapped up and her eyes gleamed darkly, lips curling in a combination of a smirk and a snarl that resulted in a fierce grin.

Her hand flashed out like lighting, smearing pink frosting on Shizuo's face and dropping to the floor suddenly, so she could slip out of his slackened grip on her shoulder without him sensing it by the shift in weight beneath his fingers. She darted to the nearest safe place, which happened to be the top of the refrigerator.

Shizuo wiped the frosting off, licking his fingers. He was headed towards the refrigerator when his eye caught something in the chrome reflection.

PINK.

Kanra laughed and leapt from the refrigerator, diving out the door.

"Running for my life Running for my life Running for my life." She said, as she ran through the living room, and the expression on her face was too much for the kids as the erupted in laughter, falling all on top of each other on the couch. When they had calmed down a bit Mikado's face was bright red as he found himself inches from Anri. Saki smiled as she clamped a hand over Masaomi's mouth, cutting off the remark before it even occurred.

Namie choose that exact moment to walk in the room, and all Namie saw was a black streak before Kanra dove behind the secretary.

"KKAAANNNNNRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA!" Shizuo roared, and Namie promptly stepped to the side and punched Kanra roughly in the arm, shoving the informant to the side. Kanra in turn held her arm out and pointed at Izaya, who pointed straight back.

Namie's jaw hit the floor as a breathlessly laughing Kasuka followed his brother out the kitchen door, pointing at the bright neon pink hair Shizuo now wore.

Even though Shizuo was taller, Kanra held her ground as he loomed over her.

"What...the...hell...did...you...do...to...my...ha ir." Shizuo forced the words out trying to keep a calm composure.

"Nothing~" Kanra purred, the evil grin previously displayed in the kitchen returning to her face as her eyes burned into Shizuo's.

"BULLSHIT!" Shizuo roared, and Kanra dodged a punch as she slashed down Shizuo's arm, red blossoming on the white fabric. Shizuo swung around, his arm catching Kanra in the ribcage and he managed to get a hand on her throat, as he slammed her down on the ground. The next moment everyone froze, with Shizuo kneeling on the ground above Kanra, one hand pressed against her neck and the other curled in a fist drawn back.

Kanra was on her back on the ground, her switchblade pressed against his neck as an evil glow sparked across her eyes, still wearing the same dangerous grin.

As a tiny drop of blood rolled down the blade and hit the floor, it became very obvious as to who won.

Shizuo relaxed, standing, yet Kanra did not lower her knife, which had just barely pierced the skin.

She advanced, forcing Shizuo to take a step back. The atmosphere of the room had switched from warm to ice cold, and it seemed like electricity ran through each of them, reflected in Kanra's eyes.

Everything about Kanra, from her eyes and facial expression to her body language was chilling. She didnt look like the typical gang member, who made a big show of the strength they had over thier enemy.

With Kanra she was relaxed, in a way that made it clear she could easily deliver a death blow without even thinking, yet every detail was vividly sharp, dangerous intent written in every curve and point.

And just like that she switched back so fast as she lowered the knife, it left everyone's heads but her own and Izaya's spinning. "Simon~!" She called, and Simon stepped forward from the staircase, having just been upstairs.

"How about we all get some sushi, huh~! I think we all need a bite to eat~" Kanra said, giving a soft smile.

"Da! It true! I go make sushi now!" A overjoyed Simon exclaimed, and headed straight towards the kitchen.

Kanra reached her hand in her pocket, suddenly flicking her wrist back out and a bright silver blur streaked through the air towards Izaya, who held up a hand and caught it in his palm. Turning towards his computer again her looked down and grinned.

"I see~ Well played Kanra~" he muttered quietly, as he placed the metallic silver chess piece in his pocket, smiling at her choice.

* * *

At around noon a high pitched shriek pierced the air.

Kanra sat upright from where she was lounging on the couch, waiting for the cake to finish. Shizuo had yet again succeeded in burning the cake or ruining it so edibility was questionable, but this one had managed to survive. Shizuo had spent a majority of the time saying he'll be damned if he wasted one more freaking minute of his life on the "crappy oven."

"No." Kanra muttered.

"What?" Shizuo asked gruffly, and was immediately ignored by Kanra.

"IT'S THE DEVIL!" Kanra yelled as she stood.

"She can't have...It's not possible!" Kanra exclaimed and Izaya double face palmed.

"Please tell me you don't mean..." He said softly, and Kanra simply walked to the door, peering through the eye hole before having it open and slam against her face.

"DAMMIT BITCH GO AWAY YOU DEMON! FORGET SAIKA CONTROLLING THE MINDS OF MY LOVELY HUMANS WHO GIVES A SHIT WHEN THERE IS A FOUL SPAWN OF EVIL SUCH AS YOU POISONING MY HUMANS' MINDS WITH YOUR STUPID YAOI PAIRINGS! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY INNOCENT LIVES YOU'VE SCARRED?! I LOOK SOMETHING UP ON THE INTERNET AND FLIP THROUGH PICTURES JUST TO FIND A TERRIBLY DETAILED IMAGE SUDDENLY BURNING MY EYES! YOU HAVE INFECTED THE WORLD! BE GONE SHE DEMON!" Kanra said as she kicked the door shut, and pressed up against it.

"Dammit Namie, didn't you lock the door?!" Kanra yelled and Namie ignored her.

"IZAYA RUN! HIDE NOW!" Kanra said as the door burst open.

Never underestimate a yaoi fangirl. They are known to be equivalent in power to a tank.

Kanra peeled herself off the floor as the evil incarnate Erika Karisawa sprinted through the doorway. It was almost as if you could just see the yellow stars and sparkling rainbows. Kanra fought the urge to vomit as she wondered how the Karisawa demon managed to get past Kanra's elaborate traps.

As if reading her mind a hand was held out to her, as she looked up to see a smiling Kadota. "Sorry, but she has experience to jumping to conclusions, and since you all were missing she figured out there was a party. And well, you know Erika... If you tell her that Shizuo and Izaya are in the same place for this long and so far nothing seems to have happened violence wise, god himself could not stop her."

"Don't have to tell me, I tried and know its true." Kanra said, and Saburo laughed.

"Greatings, dark shadowy enchantress of the midnight." Walker said, bowing before Celty who blushed, if you could call it that. Shinra tried to give a stealthy thumbs up to walker, but failed and earned a elbow to the gut, forcing him to crawl over to the couch to sit down.

Erika shrieked as she found Izaya, who had tried to hide Shizuo in the kitchen with Simon, but didnt have enough time to get out. Her shriek raised ten octaves as she saw Shizuo with pink hair.

Kanra threw a book at the banshee, the large 600 page volume narrowly missing the targets head who was unfazed.

"SHUT UP ALREADY DEMON FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY! YOU'VE ALREADY DEAFENED ANY DOG WITHIN A TEN MILE RADIUS, SO SHUT YOUR SHRIEKING MOUTH BEFORE IT SHUT YOU UP MYSELF!"

"Such a tsundere Kanra." Erika said, and her eyes sparkled as she grinned.

"Oh god no whatever it is your thinking dont grant yourself a death wish. Shut your trap you might just survive the day." Kanra muttered.

"Of course! Kanra is jealous!" Erika exclaimed gleefully.

"WHAT?!" Everyone said at the same time, completely dumbfounded.

A dangerous gleam sparked in Kanra's eyes, as she fingered the hem of her jacket.

"Jealous of who though?" Erika paused, tapping her chin and thinking. "I got it! Kanra is jealous of Shizuo! She likes Izaya!"

Shizuo burst out laughing as Izaya went into instant poker face, sending a glance towards Kanra that told her to do the same, and once Erika got bored she would move on. Kanra fingered the hem of her jacket faster, and put on an identical mask instantly.

"N-no! Kanra is jealous of Izaya! YES IT'S PERFECT! KANRA LOVES SHIZU-CHAN!"

Erika shrieked gleefully, and Shizuo stopped laughing. Kanra's fingers instantly froze.

Izaya noticed this right away, and attempted to speak a word of warning. "Kanra no, don't do it-" but Kanra ignored him and flicked out her switchblade, diving at Erika.

She tackled Erika and had her knife at the banshee demons neck but before she could do anything something wrapped around her ankle and yanked her up into the air.

A moment later Kanra hung upside down by the ankle, suspended in the air by Celty's shadows. Shizuo walked up to Kanra, and gripped her wrist until she dropped the knife. Kanra crossed her arms and waited for Celty to let her down.

* * *

Later on in the day Kanra sat with Izaya playing a game with the chess board and the 3 different game pieces. They were equally matched, and in an intense concentration. Each time Erika tried to attempt making a remark about any pairings Kanra would send a death glare that silenced the demon.

"So~" Izaya said, as he put the last piece into place.

"Where would you like to start?" Kanra asked, one eyebrow quirked again, giving Izaya a questioning look.

"Well why don't we start from the beginning~ Tell me," Izaya said, leaning forward as he put his elbows on the edge of the desk. "did you have this entire little plot planned from the start?"

Kanra smirked, leaning back on a second rolling chair she dragging in from another room, with one knee up and her left elbow on the other end of the desk.

"You remember Izaya~ I challenged you to a game after all~" She flicked out her switchblade, which finally returned under the condition that Simon keep an eye on Kanra.

Said man watched from across the room, and Kanra laughed, not even glancing up at the large man.

"Shinra was easy enough," Kanra said, holding up the knife and examining the wickedly sharp blade as she pushed the first game piece forward. "And of course, if you get one of them to go, you get the other one as well." A second piece slid forward.

"No bribes?" Izaya asked, leaning back.

Kanra glanced over at Izaya and snapped the blade shut. "You know Shinra, he is just a party kind of person. So is Celty, although she doesn't quite have the energy Shinra does." Kanra began twirling the knife in her fingers.

"I just told Namie it was mandatory, and if she didnt make an effort I'd deal with her myself." Kanra said, with an amused smirk.

"How so?" Izaya asked, curious.

Kanra shrugged, sliding Namie's piece into position. "I'm sure I would've thought some way to annoy the woman. I mean, hell, I do that everyday."

Izaya laughed, and Kanra set the knife on the table turning towards the blame broad as she grabbed another piece.

"I had Summer-chan help me with setting up the delay for the fire alarms in the lower floors, and she was also the one that hacked into the computers down stairs and connected my phone to the intercom system. Computer genious."

"She someone you hire regularly?" Izaya asked, trying to remember if he had heard anything about Summer before.

"Well kinda, we actually met in middle school." Kanra said, before her eyebrows knit together and her lips turned down in a frown as her eyes unfocused and she stared at Summer's piece, not really seeing it. "She had a habit of poking my food, usually my peanutbutter and jelly sandwhich..."

"Shizu-chan~?" Izaya inquired.

"Kasuka." Kanra answered, pulling out from her thoughts. "I helped him out in getting a long vacation so he could spend time with Shizu-chan and invited him over for the party. Simon came along once I asked if he would like to bring some Russia Sushi for the party."

"I see~" Izaya said, leaning forward and clasping hi. Hands together, entwining his fingers and resting his chin on them as he studied the changing layout of the board, thinking for a moment. "So you decided to have some fun by 'dive glomping' Shizu-chan, knowing it would tie everyone up so you would go and slip away." Kanra grinned as Izaya continued on. "Which would give you a chance to toy with people's minds until the fire department arrived later-" Izaya was cut off Kanra.

"Impressive~" She said, holding up a hand. "But the game is still in play now~ Wait and you'll figure it out eventually~" She smiled as she saw Izaya immediately shut down the quick calculations he instinctively started making as soon as she told him to not think about it. It seemed as if the game was interesting enough to sit back and watch it play out, full of surprises.

"And the cake?" Izaya asked, curious to see if Kanra was able to plan that out as well.

"Now that was just pure luck~" Kanra laughed, as a wide grin broke out across her face.

"How about Kida, Saki, and the other two?" Izaya questioned.

"Saki agreed, the rest followed." Kanra said, putting down for pieces one after another. "I knew just around thier arrival, Shizuo would get fed out and start raging again." Kanra snickered. "One track mind at times, stupid protozoan. Of course at that point, Celty would give up, and Shinra most likely would be hovering about her, worried one second, adoring her the next."

"Which brings us too-" Izaya said as he spun around in his chair.

"The old fart, yeah." Kanra said, glaring sourly at the carpet. "First time I met her I was standing in the hall talking to a client on the phone when next thing I knew I was knocked to my knees as that crazy hack hit me in the ass with that purse. I swear that thing has at least five huge bricks in there. Why or how she manages to carry it is beyond me, but she was hollering something about me talking to myself and how I needed to shut up because I was interrupting her chat with her son. Not even god on wealth would be able to convince the woman that a radio is not a living person, much less one she gave birth too."

Izaya snickered and Kanra narrowed her eyes at him. "You won't think it so funny if I got her to come up here." She said, and Izaya instantly shut up.

They both wore perfect poker faces, but after four seconds thier pokerfaces started to get a little strained.

"Namie..." Izaya said quietly, his bottom lip twitching for a moment.

"...would burst into flames." Kanra said.

The silence between them was broken instantly as they both erupted into laughter, making the kids and Kadota's gang pause in the game they were playing on the floor across the room as they stopped to stare at the two infamous informants; the notorious trolls, cell phone smashers, and badass pyros, laughing like a couple of kids loaded up on sugar.

Namie Yagiri had an unholy expression of pure hatred on her face, glaring at the two psychos that were supposed to be grown adults.

"The fossil and the fat cat were unexpected yet hilarious bits of luck as well." Kanra said, wiping tears off her face. "the scene with the couch was just fun, nothing really planned behind it."

"The fire truck?" Izaya asked, his mind racing again, but again Kanra halted his thoughts.

"Later~" she purred. "The whole scene in the kitchen with the pink hair was just a matter of putting dye in the shampoo."

"I see so you did that to be nice and get Shizu-chan's baby brother to smile at him. But what about the whole show with the knife afterwards?" Izaya asked.

"Slow down, there is more to it~" Kanra mock scolded Izaya, slapping the back of his hand and grinning. "The humor in it was also to get the four kids to laugh, knowing that once mikado realized he was practically hugging Anri and she had her arm draped across his back too, he would start to blush."

"So you did that knowing he would start to realise more and more about hhugs relationship with Anri, and brought Saki along knowing she would be there to stop any comments from Masaomi as well~" Izaya said, breaking into a wide smile. "Interesting~"

"The silver game piece was my hint to you that the game had started." Kanra said, putting her black combat boots up on the corner of the desk as she rocked back on the rear wheels of the chair, hands behind her head with elbows out. "I knew the screaming banshee would come, yet I had still tried my best to mislead her, curious as to see if she could figure it out."

Izaya smirked. "So do you really think Erika and her yaoi fangirling is worse than Saika?" Kanra flicked a spare prawn at him, which hit him square in the center of his forehead. She glanced at Anri, who had looked in thier direction and waved. Anri stared a moment, then turned her attention back to the game she was playing.

"Yeah, I do." Kanra said.

"The yaoi that bad~?" Izaya teased, and Kanra slammed her fist down.

"I had to spend an enitre freaking day with that evil incarnate when I was helping Dotachin on a job. You think its funny, huh? _You _try being crammed into the back of that van with +R18 books surrounding you and the banshee deafening you every freaking damned second." She leaned closer to Izaya as he smirked again.

"She freaking paired me with the old fart! And I was stuck listening to fantasies that were ungodly detailed for hours! It was hell!" Kanra sat back down, giving up.

"Anyways, the whole reason I acted violent?" She said, and the deadly grin returned with laughter glinting in her eyes. "So Simon would have to keep an eye on me~" Kanra said, and glanced down at the game board. "Nice, Im impressed. You kept up~"

Before Izaya had any time to think about what Kanra meant about keeping an eye on her, Kanra jumped up and skipped to the table just as Kasuka came in carrying the finished cake, and set it down on the table.

They all gathered around and Shinra and Kanra dragged Izaya to the birthday cake. Kanra volunteered to light the candles as they all sang happy birthday.

When they finished, they all stood and stared at the candles.

"Hey... Why are the candles... flizzling?" Saki asked, pointing.

Kanra had a grinch like grin on her face as she held up the lighter.

"KANRA!" Shizuo growled, and Izaya started to frantically blow on the candles, but got an idea and decided to toss it instead. Unfortunately, the miniature explosive landed right in the popcorn, which flew everywhere.

Izaya suddenly understood everything.

What he didn't know is that Kanra still had more for him.

* * *

"Hey~! Natsu-chan~!" Kanra purred happily into the phone.

"Eh? So now you're using my Japanese name? Anyways, I got it set up. It should work, but still I think the faster you guys get out the better." Summer said, and the bored tone reminded her a little of Namie. Kanra decided to keep her mouth shut. Summer wasn't find of the woman, and if Kanra said anything she knew she would regret it.

"okay~ see you on the roof." Kanra said, hanging up. She looked at her watch, set the timer and stepped back in the room.

Shinra was holding a camera and Celty was trying to convince Shizuo to sit down and be apart of the group photo.

**_[Its not that bad.]_**

"Tch." Shizuo said, grumpily.

**_[C'mon, its just one picture.]_**

"No."

Kanra skipped up to them, ruffling Shizuo's hair. He smacked her hand away. "Oh dnt be like that Shizu-chan~ You can just wash it off." Kanra said in a sing song voice.

"Really?" Shizuo asked, raising his eyebrows.

"No. It'll last a month, and you look like a cupcake~!" Kanra said, before skipping off.

[NOT HELPING!] Celty typed, yet the irritated words were lost on Kanra who was already busy with jumping on a spinny chair and sliding across the room while twirling, knocking into Izaya in the process. They both hit the wall, swaying in thier seats on the chair from dizziness.

Finally five minutes later they all sat in the couch, as Shinra set the timer on the camera.

"Smile~!" He cheered, and ran towards the couch. He tried to sit on Celty's lap, but ended up getting pushed off the moment the camera flashed.

The kids laughed as Shinra sat up from the floor. Kasuka looked at the photo, and they all started getting up and talking.

Kanra's watch beeped, and Izaya gave Kanra a look which was pointedly ignored.

"Everybody quiet!Kannada spoke loudly, holding up her hands and silencing everyone in the room. "Nobody say a word." She said, cocking her head to the side and listening intently as she held up a finger.

They stood silent for several moments, and Kanra smiled as she heard a faint hiss, which the others didn't notice.

"What the hell do you want flea?" Shizuo said.

The silence was deafening.

Everyone broke out into high pitched laughter, as Masaomi slapped Mikado on the back, doubling over in laughter and kept repeating, "Helium. Its helium."

"Shizu-chan you sound like a squirrel." Izaya said, in a considerably high pitched voice.

"I don't get it." Namie said, but the corner of her lip twitched once, betraying the expertly carved mask of boredom.

"Guys, we really should get out of here before someone blacks out." Shinra said, and they all made their way to the door and out into the hallway.

"C'mon guys, we need to go to the roof while the Helium clears out." Kanra said, and she dragged Izaya by the wrist up the stairwell to the roof top.

Deciding they had nothing better to do, the all followed Kanra's rapidly disappearing heels up the stairway. She flung open the door, and they all filed out. Masaomi and Saki sat on the railing of the pathway to the higher part of the roof, with Mikado and Anri standing behind them.

"So, Kanra. What exactly was the point of all this?" Izaya asked, and Kanra leaned back on the railing that kept people from falling off the edge.

She waved her wrist and pointed upwards, and a moment later a loud bang startled most of the group, causing them to flinch down as the sky above them lit up with brilliant color.

"Home made. I didn't want the fire department showing up in case things went wrong but they seem to be going great now." Kanra said, and Izaya had only a vague idea as to what she was talking about.

"Thanks Natsu-chan~!" Kanra said, waving to a figure at the highest point of the building. The figure waved back, lighting another firework.

Izaya grinned, looking up at the sky.

* * *

I know, sucky and terribly written ending. As I said, a lot of jokes that are really only funny with the background. Still, I hope there are at least a couple things that made you laugh. If not, oh well. :3 Thanks~!


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